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canonical_insanity) wrote2009-02-08 07:01 pm
canonical_insanity) wrote2009-02-08 07:01 pm
Entry tags:
And that cracky one-shot about Owen, Peri and Six is now no longer a one-shot...
Title: Of Ex-zombies and Time Travellers.
Fandom: Doctor Who (technically it's also a Torchwood crossover, but they are in the same universe)
Characters: Owen Harper, Sixth Doctor, Peri Brown (no, it's not a threesome yet. Come back in another couple of chapters ^_^)
Word Count: 1398 words
Rating: PG-13/12/T
Warnings: Pre-story character death, spoilers to 'Exit Wounds', is probably AU (but you can't prove that Owen didn't suddenly appear on the Sixth Doctor's TARDIS, so it's not impossible that it happened).
The Doctor –the sixth incarnation, he had told Owen with a smirk- had taken them to three planets so far.
While Owen wondered why the worlds all resembled Earth, as he was expecting blue grass, yellow trees and other things that looked like a cross between a sci-fi novel and a child’s drawing, he was more amused by the fact that the Doctor not only attracted trouble wherever he went, but quite often left them alone in the middle of it.
He, of course, had taken his gun back as soon as the Doctor’s back was turned and therefore had some means of defence against random attackers. After all, he’d learned something from living in 21st Century Cardiff.
He’d managed to talk Peri into telling him some of her life story. She was from the 1980’s, meaning that she was probably about twenty years older than him -although she certainly didn’t look it, and besides, it wasn't like he hadn't screwed women from other time periods before- and a botany student. She was American –which he’d guessed from the accent- and had been on holiday in Lanzarote when the previous Doctor had picked her up. Well, actually, one of the previous companions had saved her from drowning and then she'd decided to tag along.
He had a sinking feeling that he'd seen her file -along with several of the other companions of the Doctor- before. And that it had not only labelled her as MIA, but hadn't been updated since she disappeared in Lanzarote. Which meant, wherever Peri (short for Perpugilliam but if he called her that she'd make him regret it for the rest of his life) Brown ended up, it wouldn't be on Earth.
Or at least, not in her timeframe.
He decided not to tell her that.
"Are those aliens...camping?" Peri was squinting towards the group of vaguely human-shaped aliens (and that was another thing, most of the aliens they had ran into weren't all that alien, by the standards of Cardiff) but he knew the answer to this one.
Jack had told him, back when Owen had still been on his first life; before he'd realised that he loved Toshiko, before even Diane (and after everything he's been through since she left, the thought of Diane still stung, just a little); back when he could still convince everyone else (and, most importantly, he could still convince himself) that there was nothing to his personality but arrogance, cynicism and a sex drive to rival Jack's.
"Can't be. We're the only ones that go camping. And then get promptly eaten by cannibals as a result."
Peri gave him a look, not entirely sure if he was joking. This was something else he had found out in the brief time he'd been travelling with them; for all of her experience in space and time travelling, Peri was almost as idealistic as Gwen (and he didn't think that she would last a day in Torchwood Cardiff, but of course, he wouldn't tell her that either).
"You're exactly right. Humans are the only race in the universe that go camping. Although, I take it that your last camping trip didn't go quite as you planned?"
He still wasn't quite sure about how far he could trust the Time Lord.
While he didn't seem all that malevolent -and Owen could even bring himself to respect him to a certain degree, even if they had argued over Owen's insistence that he stayed armed at all times when he was outside the TARDIS, which was partially to make him feel better and slightly to help protect Peri, but mainly because he was starting to realise that pretty much every alien species that didn't come to Earth wanted to kidnap random humans and use them in bondage porn movies- but...despite the long chain of idiotic moves that had led to their destruction (and, as stupid as they could be at times, Owen did still take pride in the fact that Torchwood Three had never unleashed an army of Cybermen on the whole world), there must have been a reason for their first (and pretty much forgotten about at this stage) mission statement.
The fact that Peri -in the short time that Owen had known her- had described the Time Lord as 'violent', 'weird', 'temperamental', 'psychotic', 'out of control', 'moody' and 'unstable' didn't mean all that much, as he'd also been called pretty much every single thing on that list himself.
Correctly, as a matter of fact.
He didn't see a problem with telling Peri or the Doctor about their adventures in the countryside (since neither of them were involved, and it didn't mean all that much to anyone besides Torchwood Three) and Peri started to look slightly green as he talked about the state of the bodies, the look of visceral and sadistic pleasure in their eyes, the team's shock and anger that it, in fact, wasn't aliens that were doing it, but otherwise normal human beings (as much as the Welsh could ever be counted normal) while the Doctor looked about as angry as Jack had been when he came in to save them on the tractor.
As angry as he had been when he'd found that man on top of Toshiko, enjoying every last inch of her terror.
"Did all of that really happen?" Peri tried to replace her disgust and horror with a sceptical look.
"Close enough. I may have made a few more Welsh jokes and I skipped over the part where our teaboy screamed like a girl, but that's about it."
The Doctor wasn't even trying to avoid looking appalled. To be entirely honest, Owen didn't really blame him. If he was an alien that used Earth as the intergalactic equivalent of a winter vacation spot, then he probably wouldn't enjoy hearing about the deprived behaviour of the nearby locals either (of course, whether he was talking about the cannibal farmers or Jack and Ianto's sex lives by that was anyone's guess).
He was wondering which stories he could get away with by this point. He couldn't mention the Cyberwoman, because that would mean telling him about Canary Wharf and he didn't know the dosages for Retconning Time Lords and he probably shouldn't mention Martha (because when she said that she had been 'under the same doctor' as Jack, it probably meant this one, give or take a few hundred years).
He could talk about the giant space whale, although he doesn't want to, because that really wasn't his finest moment, even if he had to euthanize it, even if he had saved the entire team and Rhys by doing so.
Hey, maybe Jack had brought in Rhys to replace him...and that wasn't something that he wanted to think of, since he liked to think that he was irreplaceable.
But so had Suzie, once, before that whole debacle with the glove (one of the debacles, with one of the gloves, because at this point he'd seen more than enough of either), and that was another story that he could tell but really wasn't interested in even mentioning if he had any choice in the matter, because...fuck, even after she'd conned the entire team and almost murdered Gwen, not only did he still miss her, but, after being in that dark timeless space himself, he could almost understand why she did it.
Almost. He'd never do that.
He'd never become that.
Peri, having become sick of yelling for his attention, eventually grabbed his arm and pulled him after her and the (now barely visible) Doctor, who had decided to ask the locals -who did look suspiciously like they were camping, even if their campfire was purple and the things on sticks over it didn't look anything like marshmallows- if the three of them could join the party for the night.
He'd bet Peri twenty quid that this would end in the pair of them getting captured and chained up.
Again.
At this point, he was really starting to wonder if Jack had always had the bondage fetish or whether it had been brought on by his trips with the Doctor.
Since he probably wasn't going to see Jack again (since if Peri didn't make it back to Earth, Owen didn't hold out much hope for his own chances of returning home either) he guessed it was a moot point at this stage.
Fandom: Doctor Who (technically it's also a Torchwood crossover, but they are in the same universe)
Characters: Owen Harper, Sixth Doctor, Peri Brown (no, it's not a threesome yet. Come back in another couple of chapters ^_^)
Word Count: 1398 words
Rating: PG-13/12/T
Warnings: Pre-story character death, spoilers to 'Exit Wounds', is probably AU (but you can't prove that Owen didn't suddenly appear on the Sixth Doctor's TARDIS, so it's not impossible that it happened).
The Doctor –the sixth incarnation, he had told Owen with a smirk- had taken them to three planets so far.
While Owen wondered why the worlds all resembled Earth, as he was expecting blue grass, yellow trees and other things that looked like a cross between a sci-fi novel and a child’s drawing, he was more amused by the fact that the Doctor not only attracted trouble wherever he went, but quite often left them alone in the middle of it.
He, of course, had taken his gun back as soon as the Doctor’s back was turned and therefore had some means of defence against random attackers. After all, he’d learned something from living in 21st Century Cardiff.
He’d managed to talk Peri into telling him some of her life story. She was from the 1980’s, meaning that she was probably about twenty years older than him -although she certainly didn’t look it, and besides, it wasn't like he hadn't screwed women from other time periods before- and a botany student. She was American –which he’d guessed from the accent- and had been on holiday in Lanzarote when the previous Doctor had picked her up. Well, actually, one of the previous companions had saved her from drowning and then she'd decided to tag along.
He had a sinking feeling that he'd seen her file -along with several of the other companions of the Doctor- before. And that it had not only labelled her as MIA, but hadn't been updated since she disappeared in Lanzarote. Which meant, wherever Peri (short for Perpugilliam but if he called her that she'd make him regret it for the rest of his life) Brown ended up, it wouldn't be on Earth.
Or at least, not in her timeframe.
He decided not to tell her that.
"Are those aliens...camping?" Peri was squinting towards the group of vaguely human-shaped aliens (and that was another thing, most of the aliens they had ran into weren't all that alien, by the standards of Cardiff) but he knew the answer to this one.
Jack had told him, back when Owen had still been on his first life; before he'd realised that he loved Toshiko, before even Diane (and after everything he's been through since she left, the thought of Diane still stung, just a little); back when he could still convince everyone else (and, most importantly, he could still convince himself) that there was nothing to his personality but arrogance, cynicism and a sex drive to rival Jack's.
"Can't be. We're the only ones that go camping. And then get promptly eaten by cannibals as a result."
Peri gave him a look, not entirely sure if he was joking. This was something else he had found out in the brief time he'd been travelling with them; for all of her experience in space and time travelling, Peri was almost as idealistic as Gwen (and he didn't think that she would last a day in Torchwood Cardiff, but of course, he wouldn't tell her that either).
"You're exactly right. Humans are the only race in the universe that go camping. Although, I take it that your last camping trip didn't go quite as you planned?"
He still wasn't quite sure about how far he could trust the Time Lord.
While he didn't seem all that malevolent -and Owen could even bring himself to respect him to a certain degree, even if they had argued over Owen's insistence that he stayed armed at all times when he was outside the TARDIS, which was partially to make him feel better and slightly to help protect Peri, but mainly because he was starting to realise that pretty much every alien species that didn't come to Earth wanted to kidnap random humans and use them in bondage porn movies- but...despite the long chain of idiotic moves that had led to their destruction (and, as stupid as they could be at times, Owen did still take pride in the fact that Torchwood Three had never unleashed an army of Cybermen on the whole world), there must have been a reason for their first (and pretty much forgotten about at this stage) mission statement.
The fact that Peri -in the short time that Owen had known her- had described the Time Lord as 'violent', 'weird', 'temperamental', 'psychotic', 'out of control', 'moody' and 'unstable' didn't mean all that much, as he'd also been called pretty much every single thing on that list himself.
Correctly, as a matter of fact.
He didn't see a problem with telling Peri or the Doctor about their adventures in the countryside (since neither of them were involved, and it didn't mean all that much to anyone besides Torchwood Three) and Peri started to look slightly green as he talked about the state of the bodies, the look of visceral and sadistic pleasure in their eyes, the team's shock and anger that it, in fact, wasn't aliens that were doing it, but otherwise normal human beings (as much as the Welsh could ever be counted normal) while the Doctor looked about as angry as Jack had been when he came in to save them on the tractor.
As angry as he had been when he'd found that man on top of Toshiko, enjoying every last inch of her terror.
"Did all of that really happen?" Peri tried to replace her disgust and horror with a sceptical look.
"Close enough. I may have made a few more Welsh jokes and I skipped over the part where our teaboy screamed like a girl, but that's about it."
The Doctor wasn't even trying to avoid looking appalled. To be entirely honest, Owen didn't really blame him. If he was an alien that used Earth as the intergalactic equivalent of a winter vacation spot, then he probably wouldn't enjoy hearing about the deprived behaviour of the nearby locals either (of course, whether he was talking about the cannibal farmers or Jack and Ianto's sex lives by that was anyone's guess).
He was wondering which stories he could get away with by this point. He couldn't mention the Cyberwoman, because that would mean telling him about Canary Wharf and he didn't know the dosages for Retconning Time Lords and he probably shouldn't mention Martha (because when she said that she had been 'under the same doctor' as Jack, it probably meant this one, give or take a few hundred years).
He could talk about the giant space whale, although he doesn't want to, because that really wasn't his finest moment, even if he had to euthanize it, even if he had saved the entire team and Rhys by doing so.
Hey, maybe Jack had brought in Rhys to replace him...and that wasn't something that he wanted to think of, since he liked to think that he was irreplaceable.
But so had Suzie, once, before that whole debacle with the glove (one of the debacles, with one of the gloves, because at this point he'd seen more than enough of either), and that was another story that he could tell but really wasn't interested in even mentioning if he had any choice in the matter, because...fuck, even after she'd conned the entire team and almost murdered Gwen, not only did he still miss her, but, after being in that dark timeless space himself, he could almost understand why she did it.
Almost. He'd never do that.
He'd never become that.
Peri, having become sick of yelling for his attention, eventually grabbed his arm and pulled him after her and the (now barely visible) Doctor, who had decided to ask the locals -who did look suspiciously like they were camping, even if their campfire was purple and the things on sticks over it didn't look anything like marshmallows- if the three of them could join the party for the night.
He'd bet Peri twenty quid that this would end in the pair of them getting captured and chained up.
Again.
At this point, he was really starting to wonder if Jack had always had the bondage fetish or whether it had been brought on by his trips with the Doctor.
Since he probably wasn't going to see Jack again (since if Peri didn't make it back to Earth, Owen didn't hold out much hope for his own chances of returning home either) he guessed it was a moot point at this stage.